Bedsider

Love and a Career in 2012: Possible or Not?

With New Year’s Eve only 17 days away, I thought it would be good to start a conversation about dating, relationship, and sex resolutions for 2012:

Besides the resolutions shared in the vlog, one common theme in my interviews was the desire to stay away from dating and relationships altogether and focus on school and/or work. Which makes me wonder, do we have to choose?

Personally I think I have, at least unconsciously. After spending all of 2010 being a serial dater, this year was all about my career (with a random summer fling in there somewhere). And with the desire to have someone to go to dinner with from time to time, I found myself re-visiting an old relationship, which totally set me back in the growth department.

For this vlog I interviewed Airial Clark, 33, who graduated from UC Berkeley in 2007 with a double major BA in English Literature and Anthropology while raising two young sons as a single parent. Airial’s about to finish her masters Human Sexuality Studies at San Francisco State University. For her, accomplishing all this meant not being in a relationship. But she plans on making a change in 2012. She says:

Being single for the past 10 years has really been about running and rejecting that idea that a relationship just consumes your whole life. So I think I’m old enough now to where I know myself and I know relationships, and I’ve created a skill set where I can keep a complimentary relationship… That’s the goal, to be with someone that prioritizes my goals and dreams, respects my passion, and understands that I have multiple commitments.

Hearing her say that was what Oprah would call an “ahh moment.” I think having someone who prioritizes my goals (and vice versa, of course) would make having both a relationship and a career possible. Finding that is easier said than done, but you have to know what you’re looking for in order to find it!

So along with leaving past relationships in the past and moving forward for 2012, I also plan on looking for a guy that respects my passion. That way I wont have to choose between love and my career.

Have you had to choose between your career and having a significant other in your life? What choice did you make? Or how have you made having both work?

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Veralyn Williams is a Multimedia Freelance Journalist currently working in New York City. She has spent 4 years at WNYC Radio working with various departments including: Radio Rookies, Culture, News, and Freakonomincs. Also freelancing for Black Enterprise, BronxNet Television,Bedsider, and The Museum for African Art. Her independent work is featured on her website VeralynMedia.com. Through all of her endeavors she aims to give a voice to perspectives that are often forgotten in the media.