Bedsider

Sex On TV: Why We Likey Lochte

Like most of America, I have a serious Olympic hangover—but I’m not quite ready to put away the American-flag long underwear I wore under my clothes every day for the two weeks of Games. The residual coverage is one of my favorite parts of the whole experience, as Olympians return home as heroes to new endorsements, reality television opportunities, and paparazzi stalking them at every point of their lives. And if there’s one face I’d like to see plastered on every form of media, it’s Ryan Lochte’s.

Talent, chiseled body and dimples. Those are only three of the attributes the media has allowed Ryan Lochte’s adoring public to focus on during the aptly-named XXX Olympics. Athletics? Overrated. Skintight body suits? Now we’re talking.

My objectification is only half (okay, 60/40) serious, but my love for all things Lochte is 100 percent certain. I never jumped on the Phelps bandwagon back in ‘08—there was something about his massive wingspan that made me feel like he was part-Avatar. And I make it a habit never to trust any human who can eat literally 10 times what a normal adult eats and not feel the slightest bit of guilt. Or indigestion.

But Lochte is different. And after reading this article about him, I’m even more head over heels than before. His love affair with his dog? Devotion to his family? Shedding tears during The Notebook? All elevate his godliness in my eyes but still pale in comparison to his admission of his biggest fear: being a bad father. As a professional athlete, he worries he may not be able to support his kids, give them everything they want, and be there for all their major milestones. Though his family was always there for him, he saw kids whose parents weren’t around and would never want his children to experience that.

It’s arguable that when one trains for as many hours as Olympic athletes do, avoiding an unplanned pregnancy isn’t too hard, for pure scheduling reasons. But clearly Lochte has his priorities straight. Becoming a dad before he’s ready to dedicate himself to the responsibility just simply isn’t in the cards for him. That’s why Ryan Lochte’s initials have won the special place next to mine in the heart drawn on my notebook.

I’d like to nominate him for the gold medal in safe sex. He’s clearly doing something right, contraception-wise, if his mom is right about all the one-night stands he’s been having. Promiscuous or not, Ryan Lochte is safely scoring in all the right events and that’s why I’m his biggest fan. Lochte—call me, maybe?

Image from Gawker.

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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.