Image source: HopelesslyFalling27
Coach Carr has it all wrong when it comes to sexually transmitted infections (STIs), but he’s not the only one with misconceptions in that department. Fortunately, you don’t have to be a sexpert to have safer sex (although we highly encourage it!)—you just have to be proactive about prevention, testing, and (if needed) treatment.
This National Women’s Health Week, talk to your partner(s), get some condom practice, find a testing location, and make sure your body is as healthy as can be.
Comprehensive Safer Sex 3: Take it to the next level
As part of STD Awareness Month, Jenelle Marie of The STD Project is contributing a three-part series to our tumblr (along with an article for Bedsider.org) sharing her experiences with STIs and her suggestions for how to have the safest sex possible. This is the final post of the series.
Always bring a raincoat even if you’re not expecting rain. Image source: George Eastman House
When thinking about a comprehensive safer-sex regimen, it helps to keep in mind things that are not considered part of safer-sex too, because it’s really easy to get overwhelmed or a bit confused when you’re trying to be as responsible with your sexual health as possible.
Although sex comes with some hefty implications for your health and emotional well-being, it doesn’t have to be all business and no play. In fact, adding humor to your safer-sex plan can make those steps seem less cumbersome. When you can laugh about the things that seem a bit awkward, you lighten the mood and open the opportunity to explore and learn together.
This shouldn’t be a deal breaker for a partner. In fact, it should be very sexy to them that you’re conscientious and careful. If it’s not, you should ask yourself if this is the right person for you. Someone who cares about their body and their health is also more apt to care about you, your body, and your health. Do you really want to get intimate with someone who doesn’t place safer sex on their list of priorities?
At the end of the day, you and your partner have to decide which risks you’re willing to accept, and how you’re most comfortable negotiating them together. Whether it’s for a long-term relationship or just for a night, it should be the responsibility of both partners to talk about safer sex and prepare to be sexually healthy in the bedroom.
If you’re already living with an STI…
We talk about STIs in depth on The STD Project and provide a lot of the basic information you can find on sexual health websites alongside the grey areas most people are afraid to talk about—how to live with and have healthy relationships with an STI, when to tell someone you have an STI, how to tell someone you have an STI, and more.
Whether you’re living with an STI or doing your best to educate yourself about how to avoid them, a comprehensive safer-sex approach is the sexiest and safest way to be sexually healthy.
Comprehensive Safer Sex 2: Reduce your risk!
As part of STD Awareness Month, Jenelle Marie of The STD Project is contributing a three-part series to our tumblr (along with an article for Bedsider.org) sharing her experiences with STIs and her suggestions for how to have the safest sex possible. This is the second post of the series.
Talk to your partner before getting down to your skivvies. Photo by The US National Archives.
While you can’t eliminate all risk when getting intimate with a partner, a comprehensive approach that includes prevention and communication can greatly reduce your likelihood of contracting an infection as I have. Taking these 4 comprehensive safer-sex steps not only reduces your risk but exudes responsibility, ownership, and empowerment.
1. Talk to your partner about safer sex before anything happens.These conversations should include questions like:
- Have either of us—or any of our partners—ever had an STI? When? Did we get treated? Did it come back and/or were we re-tested after treatment?
- Have we been tested—if so, when, for which STIs, and have we had partners since?
- How many sexual partners have we had in the last six months—what did we do to make sex safer? Have we been tested since?
- What do we usually do to make sex safer and what do we plan to do when we engage in sexual activities with one another?
2. Have full STI screenings and sexual health exams at least once a year and more often if you have new or multiple partners.
- Before engaging in sexual activities with someone new, get tested together. If either of you had other partners recently, get tested again in 3 months to eliminate false negatives and use barriers until testing is complete.
- Get tested before and after each new partner.
3. Use barriers consistently and correctly.
- When using a condom, place a drop or two of lube on the inside, and lots on the outside. LUBE is EVERYONE’s friend.
- Never use more than one condom at a time.
- When using a dam, place a drop or two of lube on the side facing the genitals.
- When switching entry points (anal to vaginal, vice-a-versa, etc.) use a new condom.
- Use condoms or barriers for oral sex as well as penetrative sex.
- Do not use flavored condoms for anal or vaginal sex.
- Only use water-based or silicon-based, sugar-free lube with condoms—no lotions, vaseline, oils, etc.
4. Consider making safer lifestyle choices to reduce risk.
- Reduce the number of multiple partners (one after another or more than one at a time).
- Limit/eliminate drugs and alcohol when engaging in sexual activities.
- Be mutually exclusive with your partner.
Check in on April 18th for the final post of this series, “Comprehensive Safer Sex 3: Take it to the next level.”
Jenelle Marie is the Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project—an award-winning independent website and progressive movement aimed at eradicating STD stigma by facilitating and encouraging awareness, education, and acceptance through story-telling and resource recommendations. You can also find The STD Project on Facebook and Twitter. Look for her E-Book, ‘The Relationship Survival Guide to Living with an STD’ available in 2013.
Comprehensive Safer Sex 1: It’s Personal
As part of STD Awareness Month, Jenelle Marie of The STD Project is contributing a three-part series to our tumblr (along with an article for Bedsider.org) sharing her experiences with STIs and her suggestions for how to have the safest sex possible.
Jenelle Marie, Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project
At 30 years old and after 14 years of living with an STI—genital herpes—I’ve had my fair share of experiences with sexually transmitted infections (STIs). At 16, when I contracted herpes, I had been armed with the ever-familiar fear-based sex ed, in which graphic displays of worst-case scenarios were featured on a projector screen and little else was taught about STIs. Understandably, I thought STIs wouldn’t happen to me—they only happened to certain types of people—and when I became sexually active, I figured I was being responsible by only engaging in oral sex, sleeping with virgins, and getting annual pap smears.
In a similar fashion, when I had a bout of abnormal pap smears in my late teens and early 20s, I wasn’t told I had HPV. Abnormal pap smears are caused by the HPV virus, but very rarely result in cancer and usually clear on their own over time as mine did. A lot of doctors withhold that information in an attempt to spare their patients the fear and turmoil which often results from telling someone they’ve contracted an STI.
During those years, I also experienced recurrent yeast and bacterial vaginosis (BV) infections—which fit under the umbrella term vulvovaginitis, or vaginitis for short. Both infections are caused by normal bacteria naturally residing in the vagina, and while BV can be exacerbated by sexual activities, yeast infections can also be passed to partners.
In my mid-20s I met my ex-husband, and although we had a talk about being mutually exclusive, I didn’t go farther and ask about testing or insist we be tested together. He didn’t take our conversation in earnest and continued engaging in activities outside of our relationship, which I eventually learned the hard way in my final experience with an STI: scabies.
As a result of all of those experiences, I launched TheSTDProject.com in April of 2012 alongside STD Awareness Month in hopes of promoting awareness, education, and acceptance for those living with an STI. The intent is to help others learn vicariously through my mistakes. Story-telling is one of our most powerful tools as individuals, and as such, I share openly so others don’t have to endure some of the shame, embarrassment, and fear inherent in STI diagnosis alone…
Check in on April 11th for the second post of this series, “Comprehensive Safer Sex 2: Reduce your risk!”
Jenelle Marie is the Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project—an award-winning independent website and progressive movement aimed at eradicating STD stigma by facilitating and encouraging awareness, education, and acceptance through story-telling and resource recommendations. You can also find The STD Project on Facebook and Twitter. Look for her E-Book, ‘The Relationship Survival Guide to Living with an STD’ available in 2013.
A Sexy - and Safer - “Spring Break for Geeks”
Attending SXSW Interactive is one of our favorite things to do. Like, ever. The festivities and information get us so giddy we often end up seeing double (like the two Austin capitol domes above).
Alas, we couldn’t make it this year, but we’ll be thinking of our friends who will be there. Friends like Ramin Bastani and the Qpid.me team, who are bringing safer sex to Austin through their free website.
As geeks ourselves, we’re happy to see Interactive getting some attention in for their interest in sex this year. In the past only the music attendees received condoms in their tote bags. But that oversight has apparently gone the way of those stuffed and not-so-green tote bags.
Qpid.me is “for people who want to privately share their verified STD results with anyone via text message or online,” according to a recent new release. We’re down. Just remember to also check out all your options for birth control—especially those that are “party-ready.”
And raise a glass for us. We’ll see you next year!
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Larry Swiader is Senior Director of Digital Media for The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, a.k.a. “Mr. Bedsider.” When Larry is not working, surfing the Web, watching sports, or playing tennis, he is enjoying life with his wife and daughter—as often as possible in their second home of Greece.
The news out of Mississippi that a baby who was born with HIV appears to have been cured of the virus is incredibly exciting and absolutely cause for celebration. That said, we’re with someecards in hoping that no one hearing this news takes it to mean they can slack when it comes to using condoms (every single time) and getting tested regularly for HIV and other STIs.
And a bonus reminder: Condoms can also help you avoid bringing home another kind of unwanted souvenir from Spring Break. That’s a two-for-one special we can definitely get worked up about.
Advances in HIV prevention and testing? Happy July to us all.
From our latest “Get on Top”:
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is definitely doing its part to make this July, which just happens to be National HIV Awareness Month, a special one. It kicked off the month by approving OraQuick, the first DIY over-the-counter HIV test to be made available on the U.S. market. Now, mid-month, the FDA has approved a once-a-day pill that can seriously reduce the risk of contracting HIV.
5 Facts for HIV Awareness Month
If you were lucky enough to have sex ed in high school, your teacher probably told you that HIV/AIDS is the scariest, deadliest, and craziest sexually transmitted infection (STI) there is—in my health class they pretty much left it at that. Clearly, there’s more to know about HIV than that scare tactic, but since a lot has changed in the last few decades, I’ll give those sex ed teachers the benefit of the doubt.
Today more young people are using condoms and HIV can be treated (though not cured) with powerful drugs—especially if it’s caught early. Yet while HIV may no longer be seen as a death sentence, that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously. So, since knowledge is power and July is National HIV Awareness Month, here are 5 things you should know about HIV.
1) It’s not just ‘them’ who are at risk (it’s ‘us’). More young people are at risk for getting HIV than you might think—including young women. In fact, we make up 25% of new cases and we contract it at higher rates than our male partners/friends/lovers when having sexual intercourse (more surface area = more risk). I’m not trying to induce panic, but it’s worth noting that anyone can have or get HIV regardless of what they look like or what demographic they belong to. In other words, protecting yourself is important even if you’re not in the “risk groups” your gym teacher told you about.
2) It’s always worth using condoms. If he’s barebacking (as in not using a condom) with you during a hookup, he’s probably done it with someone else, who’s done it with another person (you see where I’m going with this…). Birth control is the only way to prevent pregnancy (besides not having sex, of course) and condoms prevent both pregnancy and HIV transmission (Condom <3). Here are some tips on talking about condoms if you’re single or in a long-term relationship (I recommend reading both). If you want to practice using a condom, follow these instructions or download CondomPro.
3) Getting tested is easy, often free, and very important for you and your partner. Your local clinic (or student clinic) can test for HIV with an oral swab or a blood test—just make sure to call ahead to see which kind of test they do if you don’t like needles (or like needles and don’t like cotton swabs). There are tons of clinics that will perform free or reduced-cost HIV tests—check out the CDC’s HIV website to find one near you. If you do test positive, there are tons of resources and reliable drugs that help control the illness.
4) Spermicide is good at killing sperm—not HIV. Spermicide (when used without a condom) does not prevent against HIV and may even increase your risk of getting HIV or other STIs since it can irritate the inside of the vagina. If you’re using spermicide without a condom, get yourself and your partner tested to make sure you’re being safe.
5) Other STIs, like herpes or gonorrhea, make it easier to get HIV. Apparently, these STIs make exposed surfaces more prone to infection, including HIV. Oh, and having HIV also makes it easier to get herpes—talk about a dangerous symbiotic relationship. One more reason to get tested—and treated, if necessary—for all STIs, not just HIV.
Bedsider thinks that babies are great when you’re ready. HIV, on the other hand, is never great and the best thing you can do (for yourself and your partners) is to avoid getting it in the first place. That said, ignorance is not bliss when it comes to any STIs—getting tested and knowing your status is the best way to stay healthy, regardless of what the test says.
“1 in 5” infographic from Aids.gov.
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Catherine Rivera is an intern for Bedsider. When she’s not counseling, teaching, researching or writing about sex and relationships, this Stanford University student can be found passing out condoms to her fellow students, mentoring middle school girls, indulging her sweet tooth , reading the news, or attempting to get inside the heads of her four younger brothers. Catherine doesn’t have a personal tumblr (yet), but you can follow her on twitter @cmrivera2013.
Chlamydia and Gonorrhea: Wait, there’s good news?
From our latest Provider Perspective post:
Part of the reason these bacterial STIs are so common is that they’re really contagious. Remember the pink-eye or lice epidemics that went through school when you were a kid? Bacterial STIs are that contagious, though fortunately they only spread during sex, not during recess. Unfortunately, if you have sex with somebody who’s got a bacterial STI and don’t use a condom or dental dam, chances are good that you’ll get it, too.
Nothing takes the sexy out of sexy times like worrying about STIs, but having a plan to avoid or deal with them will keep you healthier and sexier in the long run. And, bonus, some of the most common STIs can be prevented—and, if you get one, cured.
The STI testing question of the hour: Where?
“Ignorance isn’t bliss when it comes to HIV and other sexually-transmitted infections (STIs). Early diagnosis and treatment means better long-term health and less likelihood of passing the infection on to future sexual partners. So why don’t more people in the U.S. get tested? Two new studies suggest that where the testing is happening may be part of the answer…
