Sex on TV: Condom Etiquette with Dr. Mindy
During last week’s episode of The Mindy Project, Dr. Mindy Lahiri found herself in the awkward situation of telling her new OB/GYN and fellow doctor Dr. Danny Castellano all the dirty details of her sex life. When Danny asks her about protection, Mindy says she uses condoms and isn’t shy to show her disgust. Danny is confused—why are condoms such a big deal? Condom etiquette, Mindy replies. You know, it’s hard for women. Danny, completely unaware of the double standard, stares blankly at Mindy.
Mindy goes on to explain the female contraception conundrum: You want to have condoms (obviously, safe sex is the best sex) but you don’t want to keep them right next to your bed because you don’t want to tarnish the good girl, never-does-this-kind-of-stuff thing you’ve got working for you—nor do you want to give off the air of having a stash nearby for the hordes of men who travel through your bedroom on the reg. So you do the dance where you pretend to think about where you could possibly have had a few leftover from a bachelorette party, like as a goof, and run around your room looking for said goof condoms, purposefully checking the wrong places, until you “magically” unearth one. All of this, just to seem ladylike.
What’s up with that dance? Why did every female watching nodding her head in recognition of the dance, as if it were as commonplace as the Macarena or the Electric Slide? And why was any male viewer who was forced chose to watch this episode as clueless about the whole thing as Danny was?
I’m putting an end to the nonsense right now: being in control of your sexual health does not make you slutty, promiscuous, or any other negative-sounding adjective. It makes you smart. And smart is sexy. I understand that keeping a wholesale club-size box of condoms on your nightstand may not work for the shabby-chic décor you’ve got going on, but there’s no need to bust out an Oscar-worthy performance just to find a condom. And clearly the guys don’t really care. Girls may mature faster than guys, but in this case, guys are five minutes ahead of us—less focused on your big performance and more focused on the dance you’ll be doing together, under the covers. So cut the dress rehearsal and get [it] on with the show.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: Halloween’s Sexiest Costumes
Much like Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Thanksgiving, Halloween is one of those holidays that usually gets representation in many of our favorite shows. Television shows love to join in on the holiday spirit and dress up characters for the late October episodes. Flag Day, Arbor Day, or Talk Like a Pirate Day? Not so much. Anyway, it seems only right to share my picks for TV’s top three sexiest costumes of Halloween 2012, and two more from all-time:
1) New Girl: Schmidt as Abraham Lincoln. What’s sexier than the 16th President of the United States who was awesome at oral? Obviously I mean public speaking. Emancipation Proclamation, Gettysburg Address, anyone?
(Image from FOX)
2)New Girl (part 2): Nick as “Bee” Arthur. Love me some puns, love me some Golden Girls. And senior citizens are totally on the forefront of all things sexy. Did you not read about that episode of Parks and Rec?
(Image from FOX)
3) Parks and Recreation: Leslie Knope as Rosie the Riveter. Speaking of Parks and Rec, we all know that strong, independent women, what Rosie stood for, are sexy. But did you know that strong, independent women who are on top of their reproductive health are even sexier?
(Image from NBC)
4) Friends: Ross as Spudnik. Yeah, we all get it, doesn’t mean you don’t still look like excrement. But sexy excrement.
(Image from comicsbulletin.com)
5) How I Met Your Mother: Ted as a Hanging Chad. Timely and funny, this costume is totally sex—wait for it—y.
(Image from fanpop.com)
What were your favorite sexy costumes this year, on air or in person?
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingabout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: Parks and Rec and “Old People Sex”
These are a few of my favorite things! (Forgive me, Julie Andrews.) Seriously though, on the heels of last week’s “You’re Never Too Old for ‘The Sex Talk’,” what better example of the need for sex education at any age than Parks and Recreation’s most recent episode, “Sex Education”? In her “You’re Never Too Old…” post, Bisi notes that twenty-somethings are due for a refresher on the birds and the bees, since the last time they had a real, clinical rundown of the logistics was probably around the same time they were getting their braces on (a.k.a. the orthodontic approach to abstinence). But now, since the majority of people in their twenties are actually sexually active, and more than half of all unplanned pregnancies are among unmarried women in their twenties, perhaps it’s time for Sex Talk: The Quarter-Life Edition. Even then, are we educated for the duration of our lives, or will we need a booster shot of information later on?
And that brings us to the Parks and Rec episode, or what could also be referred to as Sex Talk: The Geriatric Edition. Councilwoman Leslie Knope takes on the town’s controversial local laws on sexual education when Pawnee’s Senior Center experiences record levels of STIs (sexually transmitted infections). Knope hilariously teaches a room full of elderly folks how to put on a condom using a banana (a demonstration, by the way, I’m advocating should come with some sort of disclaimer, just for show, so as not to disappoint the inexperienced masses). She then comes under fire and is censured for breaking an abstinence-only sexual education law. Knope is forced to emphasize waiting until marriage before having sex, a message that I’m pretty sure doesn’t apply to a room full of grandparents.
This particular generation probably doesn’t have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean they should let safe sex practices fall to the wayside. Nope, you’re never too old for the sex talk. I don’t care if you have an AARP card, endless supplies of sucking candies in your purse, tissues up your sleeves, and shoes that saw the Taft Administration. I’m all for you putting your new titanium hips to work and doing the horizontal tango (or the Charleston) on the reg; just make sure you’re doing it safely.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex On TV: Why We Likey Lochte
Like most of America, I have a serious Olympic hangover—but I’m not quite ready to put away the American-flag long underwear I wore under my clothes every day for the two weeks of Games. The residual coverage is one of my favorite parts of the whole experience, as Olympians return home as heroes to new endorsements, reality television opportunities, and paparazzi stalking them at every point of their lives. And if there’s one face I’d like to see plastered on every form of media, it’s Ryan Lochte’s.
Talent, chiseled body and dimples. Those are only three of the attributes the media has allowed Ryan Lochte’s adoring public to focus on during the aptly-named XXX Olympics. Athletics? Overrated. Skintight body suits? Now we’re talking.
My objectification is only half (okay, 60/40) serious, but my love for all things Lochte is 100 percent certain. I never jumped on the Phelps bandwagon back in ‘08—there was something about his massive wingspan that made me feel like he was part-Avatar. And I make it a habit never to trust any human who can eat literally 10 times what a normal adult eats and not feel the slightest bit of guilt. Or indigestion.
But Lochte is different. And after reading this article about him, I’m even more head over heels than before. His love affair with his dog? Devotion to his family? Shedding tears during The Notebook? All elevate his godliness in my eyes but still pale in comparison to his admission of his biggest fear: being a bad father. As a professional athlete, he worries he may not be able to support his kids, give them everything they want, and be there for all their major milestones. Though his family was always there for him, he saw kids whose parents weren’t around and would never want his children to experience that.
It’s arguable that when one trains for as many hours as Olympic athletes do, avoiding an unplanned pregnancy isn’t too hard, for pure scheduling reasons. But clearly Lochte has his priorities straight. Becoming a dad before he’s ready to dedicate himself to the responsibility just simply isn’t in the cards for him. That’s why Ryan Lochte’s initials have won the special place next to mine in the heart drawn on my notebook.
I’d like to nominate him for the gold medal in safe sex. He’s clearly doing something right, contraception-wise, if his mom is right about all the one-night stands he’s been having. Promiscuous or not, Ryan Lochte is safely scoring in all the right events and that’s why I’m his biggest fan. Lochte—call me, maybe?
Image from Gawker.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: Top 5 Condom Moments
It’s not uncommon for sex to be shown on television. After all, it’s fun, entertaining and part of life— something that can’t really be ignored on a television show modeled after adult life. But what is uncommon? Safe sex on television. Too often characters get busy without even the most casual mention of birth control.
I get that it kind of ruins the mood and eats into the already measly airtime of a program, but hey, the same could be said of real-life conversations about birth control. So many shows simply skip that step; no fumbling for a nightstand drawer, running to ask a roommate, or searching for the pocket of your bunched up, discarded jeans. It may not matter to Serena Van Der Woodsen that she has been riding bareback with multiple partners for the past five seasons of Gossip Girl, but for those of us born without self-protecting genitalia, that’s pretty damn disgusting.
On the other hand, over the years television has offered up a few really excellent mentions of condoms. Here are my five favorite. Let me know if I’ve missed something good!
1) Girls
What were twenty-something women across the country doing on Sunday nights before Lena Dunham wrote, directed, and starred in a show that nearly perfectly exemplified our lives? Oh, that’s right, we were sitting in towels on our beds googling what the “stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms” would do to us. Gross.
2) New Girl
There are just so many winning lines on New Girl. If it weren’t for the show, we’d never have ‘hair chutney’, ‘driving moccasins,’ or attempts to recreate True American every Friday night. Also, I doubt I’d have ever thought to get personalized condoms.
3) Friends
Remember when Rachel got pregnant? Remember when she told Ross? Remember when he called the condom company to complain about their packaging not properly highlighting that condoms are only 97% effective*? Yeah, I remember too, but that doesn’t stop me from watching it again. And again.
4) One Tree Hill
Back in the day when The OC ruled the coop, One Tree Hill was a not-so-close second for best teen primetime soap. So when I’d finish my Trig homework, this high school sophomore loved to tune in and eat up all the drama OTH could dish out. Speaking of eating, OTH decided to serve up their condoms with one of the bedroom’s most popular desserts: whipped cream.
5) Beverly Hills 90210
Okay, so I may have been ten when this particular episode of the show aired, but that doesn’t make it any less amazing. Kelly Kapowski repurposed for an older audience? I’ll take it. At ten, I’m pretty sure I didn’t have a clue what condoms were, let alone more than a rough understanding of the logistics of procreation. All I knew was that if I was going to get condoms, I should get Condex instead.
* Just an FYI, male condoms are 98% effective with PERFECT use and 82% with TYPICAL use. Sorry Ross.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: 4 Sex Scandal Songs Inspired by Justin Bieber
Remember that time when a random girl accused Justin Bieber of fathering her child after she took his virginity backstage at one of his concerts? I know, after what seemed like months, the story finally dropped off the news cycle and I forgot about it for a few minutes, too. But then Bieber went on ex-Housewife of New York Bethenny Frankel’s new daytime talk show and dug it up again. Why now? Because the pop superstar just released a new album and one of his new songs, “Maria” (his accuser’s name was Mariah) responds to the scandal through scathing, falsetto-sung lyrics. What begins with actual audio clips of news reports and interviews with the star during the height of the drama turns into a repetitive diddy that’s going to have pre-teen girls across the world singing along to the lyrics, “That ain’t my baby, that ain’t my girl,” incessantly. At least we’ll get a breather from Call Me Maybe.
In keeping with my feelings—and what I assume was the majority of America’s feelings—at the time the story initially broke, I still couldn’t care less. But then I started thinking about a world where all celebrities embroiled in a sex scandal preached their innocence through the medium of song. Whether or not they were actually guilty won’t matter when their track hits number one on iTunes and in the hearts of teens everywhere. Allow me to lead the charge with four sex scandals songs I think could make excellent chart-toppers:
1) Anthony Weiner: Instead of coming up with anything fresh and new (I mean he did put so little effort into his scandal in the first place; he couldn’t even be bothered to leave his congressional office before he snapped the shots of his namesake), Weiner would just release The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake song “Dick in a Box”—but instead, change the lyrics to “Dick in Your Inbox.”
2) Paris Hilton: Everyone knows Paris Hilton is Bruce Springsteen’s biggest fan. I’d look forward to the music video that would accompany her song “****ing In The Dark”, complete with humans and Chihuahuas donning night vision goggles and a 2-minute interlude of silence while Paris checks herself out in the mirror. That’s hot.
3) Arnold Schwarzenegger: The man fathered a child with his housekeeper. Coupled with his body building background, there is no possible way he wouldn’t borrow a tune from Jock Jams. I’m thinking Technotronic “Pump Up The Jam.“ Something like, “She don’t need, a place to stay, she’ll be mopping up the floor tonight,” and then subbing out the lyrics “Make my day” with “I’ll be back.” Too soon?
4) Hugh Grant: Back in 1995 Hugh Grant was arrested for soliciting sex from Divine Brown after they were caught as she was performing oral sex on him in his car. I’d imagine he would go back and forth, trying to choose the right lyrics to spin the dalliance into a PR opportunity, only to shrug his British shoulders in defeat, sigh “Oh, bollocks,” and wind up recording a cover of Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For the Money.”
Have any better songs for these scandals? Other scandals that should inspire songs of their own? Comments, please!
“Justin Bieber” image by Adam Sundana.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: 10 Reasons I Can’t Put Down 50 Shades of Grey (the Worst Book Series of All Time)
It may not be officially on television quite yet, but I think it’s safe to say that 50 Shades of Grey is enough of a pop culture phenomenon to warrant some discussion here. Plus, the folks at Saturday Night Live are onto it, so that’s gotta’ count for something, right?
For those who recently purchased property underneath a boulder in a remote field or quarry, 50 Shades of Grey is a fictional novel, selling out in bookstores across the country. Apparently it was nearly impossible to even order a copy online for a while, illustrating exactly how hot this commodity was. And trust me, it’s hot. As illustrated in SNL’s satirical commercial, the demographic of Grey’s consumer is married women over 30. Having heard whispers about the book, my decision to scour the city for a copy mostly came after my own mother suggested I read it. Never one to let my mom be ahead of the curve when it comes to what’s trendy, it is physically impossible to fathom my mortification as I began reading and envisioned my mother reading as well.
In what started out as Twilight fan fiction, Grey describes the relationship between Anastasia Steele, a virginal recent college grad, and Christian Grey, the uber powerful, strikingly gorgeous, and insanely wealthy CEO of Grey Enterprises. He’s looking for a submissive sexual partner to tie up and flog, while she’s so naïve, she has to google anal beads. Naturally, they wind up copulating like bunnies, dabble in some BDSM, and realize there may be more to their relationship than a Master spanking his Sub. Look at me working the lingo.
So, upon completion of the first book, I hereby present to you The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, when it comes to 50 Shades of Grey. In full disclosure, I found a surprising amount of ‘Good’ for a book that erred light on story line and heavy on thrusting.
The Good:
1. Not that I’m big into supermarket romance novels with the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” man on the cover, but I’m familiar enough with the formula to appreciate Grey’s lack of cheesy romance jargon. There was not a single throbbing member or heaving bosom mentioned. +1 point. (Not so fast, though—see The Bad for further commentary…)
2. Anastasia’s rationale for being a virgin: it just hasn’t happened yet. Love the idea of waiting for the right person and not feeling pressured. How quickly the cookie crumbles when a Greek Adonis enters the picture—but I’ll give Anastasia a +.5 point for the first couple years of self-control.
3. THE ARRAY OF BIRTH CONTROL! As one of the highest-powered businessmen in the entire country, Christian Grey knows he’s not ready for a baby. That’s why he requires ALL of his submissives to make sure they’re on a method of birth control that’s right for them. Even if it means calling in his private gynecologist on a Sunday. We’re talking discussion of pills, types of pills, accuracy in taking pills, the whole shebang. And, SPOILER ALERT, book two sees some Depo Provera action. That’s right, the shot, mentioned by name. +1000 points. And until her method of choice becomes active…
4. CONDOM USE! Honestly, aside from “earth shattering orgasm”, there is no string of words used more often in the entire book than “foil packet.” Christian admits he’s not a fan of condoms, yet he refuses to have sex with Anastasia without one. Another +1000 points to Team Steele-Grey.
The Bad:
5. So, there may not be any throbbing members, but Grey doesn’t escape completely unscathed in the category of semantics. First, Christian expresses his intentions toward Anastasia by announcing he’s going to “take her now.” Really? If author E.L. James wanted to get all old-timey on us, I would have at least gone for a double entendre, like “plundering her booty.” I get that the human nether region is awkward to talk about without sounding clinical or crude, but there’s no excuse for calling one’s vagina a “sex.” I also realize that Webster’s Dictionary names genitalia as the fourth definition of the word, but seriously? -10 points. I would have preferred “va-ja-jay.” (Ps—His package? Usually referred to as his “arousal,”which is, ironically, also the name of Paris Hilton’s new fragrance. Just kidding. I think.)
6. The entire story takes place in like 2 weeks. I realize that the real-time time frame worked well for 24, but I can assure you that Anastasia Steele is no Jack Bauer. Arguably, her ability to have mind-blowing orgasms every time she has sex—often 5 or 6 times a day—is a pretty bad ass skill, but I wouldn’t defer to her on issues of homeland security. There’s no way that much could happen in 2 weeks. When does she sleep? Pop her zits for 20 minutes in the bathroom? WHEN DOES SHE CATCH UP ON GIRLS? -50 points.
7. Uh, how about that lack of plot? -100 points.
The Ugly:
8. Well there’s definitely no ugly when it comes to the two main characters. Or, any character, now that I think about it. Every character description is of a fabulously attractive and fit individual. Christian, Anastasia, her best friend Kate, the guys who lust after them, even Christian’s security detail. Maybe I need to keep reading further into book three to be introduced to Anastasia’s childhood best friend Lauren, who may sport a bit of a muffin top and have mild acne flare ups once a month, but also gets to experience some wild, multiple-orgasm trysts. Isn’t the point of fan fiction to be able to identify with a character???? -infinity points. Seriously, though.
9. About those orgasms. Anastasia comes. Every.Single.Time. Even her first time. Sometimes multiple times. No matter what. And they seem like pretty damn intense orgasms. But my favorite part? She usually achieves orgasm whenever Christian simply says her name. Oh, okay.-100 points for lack of realism, plus another -100 points for my jealousy.
10. And lastly, THERE’S NO PLOT. -100 points.
Strangely enough, if you tally up all the points, you actually get pi. It must be part of the magic 50 Shades of Grey weaves on its reader. Regardless of the good, the bad or the ugly, I’m clearly addicted. I just wish that was the only embarrassing thing I have in common with every middle-aged woman in America.
“Something for the kiddies, something for mom” image by Todd Mecklem.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: 5 Reasons I’m Not Sorry I Missed Spring Break
Turning the reins over to Roxanne again. Honestly, her post got WAY more acclaim than all of mine put together either way, so… you’re welcome.
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I was first introduced to what “spring break” really meant in elementary school when I used to sneakily watch MTV when my parents weren’t around. While I don’t remember the exact year I first came across MTV’s Spring Break, I can safely assume it looked something like this…
Unlike many of my friends, I have never done the “typical” spring break. This past spring break I had friends in Cancun, Cabo, Barbados, Puerto Plata, and Miami. Usually I would spend my spring break visiting friends at other schools or relaxing at home. Of course all of these schools are in the Northeast, so I was always really jealous of my friends’ tans when it was time to get back to class. Other than the weather, I can’t say I ever felt like I was missing much. So if, like me, you skipped the crazy and wild spring break experience this year, here are a few reasons not to be too broken hearted over it:
Reason 1: Alcohol + heat = a mess. Most college kids are drawn to the above-mentioned locations because of the alcohol. Resorts are all inclusive and have open bars. For those who haven’t reached the coveted age of 21, many of these locations serve alcohol to anyone over 18. Not surprisingly, all this alcohol is bound to get a lot of people drunk. The drinking happens all day long, probably outdoors, probably in extreme heat. Instead of hydrating with water, students drink (more) alcohol. I don’t know about all of you, but being on a beach with a ton of really, really drunk people—probably watching someone throw up on the beach or next to the pool at one point or another—sounds pretty awful… especially if that person is one of my friends and I have to take care of them.
Reason 2: Mystery hook-ups. This can happen anywhere, but on spring break it’s even easier for people to omit information—or even lie—about their sexual history. Both you and your “partner” know that this is a one-time thing and you will probably never see each other again. In the few moments you actually spend talking to this person, you’re unlikely to feel super-comfortable asking about STIs and birth control (can’t say I blame you, it’s a mood killer). But because you know so little about the person, it’s even more important to make sure you are making smart decisions. You don’t want to leave your spring break with an unwanted parting gift like an STI or a pregnancy.
Reason 3: Body shots. Due to the constant lack of clothing, body shots are popular at spring break, but it seems pretty gross to me. Why would I want to take a shot off a stranger’s body or vice versa?
Reason 4: You’re stuck. If you’re going away for spring break, when you get there you can’t leave until your plane ticket says so. So if your dream spring break trip turns into a disaster—say you made a fool of yourself by drunkenly dancing on the bar and undressing—you can’t just take a cab home to get away. Since you basically see the same people every day, you will be noticed throughout the rest of the trip.
Reason 5: You’re spending a lot of money for what’s basically just a college party. A major motive to go on spring break is simply having a bunch of horny, college-aged people in one place. (And yes, the bathing suits are definitely a bonus.) Students go because they feel they have an endless supply of new potential hook-ups for an entire week. Sorry to break the news to people, but you can get this experience just about anywhere and for a lot cheaper. Spring break trips can range in price, but it is definitely going to cost at least a few hundred dollars.
These reasons are good enough for me to limit my “spring break” experience to television, but I know a lot of people disagree. It’s not the idea of spring break that bothers me—it’s students’ attitudes towards it. They openly acknowledge that this is the time to use bad judgment and make dumb mistakes. Do you really want to end up like these people? Seriously… what were they thinking?
“MTV Spring Break 2010” image by mattworkman.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: Gross Anatomy?
This week in “Sex on TV,” I’ve decided to cut back on the prose and flex the ol’ Illustrator muscles instead. Think of it as a little breather, like when you’d be reading chapter books and there would be those 4-6 glossy pages of pictures right in the middle, illustrating what’s been happening in the first half of the book and letting you know that you’re exactly halfway through. So, you’re all welcome for the reprieve.
In deciding which small screen show to focus on for this project, I chatted with a coworker about Grey’s Anatomy, which we’re both unembarrassed to admit we still watch (though I’ll admit I treat it like an elderly distant relative who I figure doesn’t have much time left, anyway). Nonetheless, our loyalty to the weekly drama led us to draft a relationship diagram, allowing us to visualize just how much overlap and interconnectivity there is on that show in terms of sex. It’s by far one of the grossest visuals I’ve ever seen, which is impressive, given that it consists of nothing more controversial or lewd than names and lines.
But so rarely has the show acknowledged the incest-y tendencies of the couplings. I’ve never been one to judge a person—on-screen or in real life—based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had. But I can’t help but think back to that day in health class when the teacher told us that having sex with one person also means you’re having sex with anyone else they’ve slept with. Initially confused at the notion of pluralistic relationships, it began to make sense when my teacher explained how STIs are transmitted. The folks on Grey’s Anatomy, however, seem to completely ignore their sex-ed experience. True, during the first season, both George and Alex sleep with Olivia, unaware of the other, and they all end up with syphilis. Though I assume everyone self-medicated with the necessary antibiotics (they are in a hospital, after all), never again did anything bacterial or viral go…well, viral. Which should be pretty surprising, considering how convoluted the chart turned out:
*Please note, I’m new to the entire Adobe Design Creative Suite and this seemingly simple chart actually took me roughly 3 months to make.
Check out Alex and George in the middle of it all. Looks like Seattle Grace should collectively take a moment to give thanks for penicillin.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: Premature Engagement
A note from Lauren: Please excuse my absence this week, but trust in the fact that I’ve left the “Sex on TV” duties to a guest blogger who will not let you down. Plus, like I learned from television, the younger and cuter girl is always more desirable. So I present to you the musings of our intern, Roxanne, who still has the positive and ambitious attitude of a college student. The cynicism will come soon and fast, my dear.
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Although I graduated from college this past December, I won’t feel like it’s official until I walk the stage and receive my “diploma” (we all know they just hand you a blank piece of paper). As graduation day approaches, I notice myself getting anxious about my future and I think rightfully so. I have absolutely no idea where I am going to be or what I will be doing in June. Every time I think about my future I feel my stomach churning.
Recently during an episode of Glee, Finn struggled with decisions about his future. He is lost, just as most high school seniors are, but the difference between him and most other students is that he decides love is his number one priority. So he proposes to his girlfriend, Rachel. And for Rachel, growing increasingly nervous about her own future as she watches her friends get accepted to college and make plans while she’s still in limbo, she decides to accept Finn’s proposal. Is this really the way to get control over your life?
It seems like we’ve moved away from the cliché “after prom sex episode” (since now most programs are showing characters having sex throughout high school, not waiting for prom night) and instead towards the life-changing marriage proposal. My first memory of this prolific moment comes from Boy Meets World. Does anyone else remember watching Topanga propose to Corey while the rest of their classmates throw their caps in the air to celebrate their high school graduation? We all know how it ends… they decide not to get married right away and end up getting married during college (I know… so much more realistic).
We then move onto one of my favorite shows, Gilmore Girls. As Rory is about to graduate from Yale, Logan (her boyfriend of a couple of years) decides to pop the question. After some deliberation, Rory says no to Logan because, let’s be honest, there is a lot she wants to do before tying the knot. And really, who can blame her?
Even in comedies like That ’70s Show, the teenagers turn to proposals. When Eric is worried about his future with Donna at the end of high school he jumps to proposing. Even though his friends tell him it’s a bad idea, he does it anyway. And guess what… the wedding doesn’t happen. Obviously TV has to make things over the top and dramatic, but does it always have to be this all or nothing nonsense?
Now, before you say I don’t know what I am talking about because I have never been in a serious relationship and when you are in love age doesn’t make a difference, you should all know I have been with same person for almost 5 years. I can also tell you that as I try to figure out my life after graduation, I am not considering marriage. I am 22-years-old and not ready to get married, but that doesn’t mean I want to break-up with my boyfriend or that he isn’t a factor in my decisions. Obviously I can’t speak for him entirely (hope things don’t get awkward when he reads this), but I’m pretty sure we are on the same page.
So what’s wrong with me? According to TV, I should be picking out china patterns and planning my first kid by now. Apparently once a couple has had sex, the next step is marriage. Look at Finn and Rachel—they had sex earlier this season and now we have a proposal. But before they walk down the aisle, they should probably keep in mind that teen marriages are twice as likely to fail as marriages in which the woman is at least 25-years-old.
I’m not saying that teenagers and young adults should give up on love, but it’s important to remember that a relationship, or sex for that matter, doesn’t define you. Who knows if the Finn/Rachel wedding will actually happen, but it’s wrong that just because the two feel lost they made such a drastic decision. An engagement at 18 doesn’t make life less scary or complicated. You need to know who you are before making that type of commitment.
“Engagement ring” image by Tela Chhe.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
