The arsenal of a Bedsider UMD Ambassador.
Today marks the beginning of Bedsider’s College Week! April 15th through 19th we’ll be featuring the amazing work of our ambassadors from American University, the University of Maryland, the University of Texas, and the University of South Carolina (mostly in that order).
Swoon. These photos are just one of the many ways our college ambassadors at University of Maryland (a.k.a. Bedsider UMD) are spreading the word about birth control on their campus. Here’s what they have to say about this particular (fantastic) project:
Birth Control LOVE at UMD is a photo project by Bedsider UMD to raise awareness of birth control use (and birth control love!) across the University of Maryland campus. Birth control continues to be something that almost all college students use, but is consistently left out of everyday conversation. Let’s let go of that stigma and let the world know we love, use, know someone who USES, or have a partner who USES some form of birth control—and we CAN talk about it!
And there’s much more where that came from. Visit Bedsider’s social channels during our very first “college week” (April 15th-19th—that means it starts tomorrow!) to learn more about the amazing things our Bedsider ambassadors are doing on their campuses.
Bedsider in the Wild: UMD’s End-of-Semester Frenzy
In September of 2012, Bedsider launched its first-ever student-run programs at University of Maryland, University of South Carolina, American University, and Howard University. The Bedsider Campus Ambassador program takes birth control to college students in their natural habitat—the wild world of campus. You will spot Bedsider hosting trivia nights, showing fun movies, and dropping some birth control knowledge in the quad. And because this internet thing is here to stay, you can connect with all the campus programs on Facebook.
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Classes are just getting started here at UMD, so instead of being productive and paying attention in class (who really pays attention during the syllabus overview, anyway?) we’ve decided to take a look back at the Great End-of-Semester Bedsider Frenzy of 2012 here at UMD. As you know, Bedsider UMD is crazy up to our ears in birth control madness, which is why we agreed to host five events in a little more than a week during finals season.
Our first stop was at the Awareness Is Sexy Festival at the University of Maryland Health Center in honor of AIDS awareness. We were stoked that the students there bombarded our table, and we were lucky enough to catch a few Bedsider second timers. Our birth control balloons flew off our table because, seriously, who doesn’t love birth control balloons?
In true Greek form, tragedy struck during our presentation to the Delta Gamma sorority—our penis brownies went flaccid. Okay, they might have just broken in half, but at least a limp-looking brownie tastes just as good as an intact one. In better news, every single one of our condoms were snatched up. Such enthusiasm!
Sometimes it happens to the best of us.
Next we got to visit the sexiest musical of them all—The Rocky Horror Picture Show. There we entertained the unsuspecting masses in line with tutus and trays full of Bedsider swag, condoms, candy, and heads full of birth control knowledge.
Bedsider ready for the time warp with some serious swag.
Our next two presentations were to the Satanic Mechanics and the cast of The Vagina Monologues—both crazy awesome and excited about condoms and birth control. The Satanic Mechanics must have asked a billion questions and we loved answering them—it was a 100% WIN for Bedsider UMD.
Meanwhile, the Vagina Monologues cast was definitely comfortable with their vaginas so there was no holding back with those ladies. While we got to talk about female condoms, the ring, and other birth control topics, the best part was comparing everyone’s O face—a great way to cap off the visit.
But alas, the Great Finals Frenzy of 2012 had to come to an end, so we decided to hand out free donuts, coffee, and candy canes at Mckeldin Library (of course the coffee was in Bedsider cups—what else?). All in all, finals season was definitely more fun with Bedsider around—but we might be a little biased.
And since everyone loves a good climactic finish, here’s a picture of the Vagina Monologues cast doing their thing. Get it, ladies!
Ooooooooooooo!
Bedsider in the Wild: USC Back-to-School Edition
In September of 2012, Bedsider launched its first-ever student-run programs at University of Maryland, University of South Carolina, American University, and Howard University. The Bedsider Campus Ambassador program takes birth control to college students in their natural habitat—the wild world of campus. You will spot Bedsider hosting trivia nights, showing fun movies, and dropping some birth control knowledge in the quad. And because this internet thing is here to stay, you can connect with all the campus programs on Facebook.
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Out with the old, in with the new! To get us into the mood for Spring 2013, we thought we’d share some fond memories from last semester. Back in November (the 27th, to be precise), as an end-of-semester treat, we put together a Bedsider “Between the Sheets” Movie Night. It was the first big event that the University of South Carolina (USC) Ambassadors held as a part of the Bedsider in the Wild campaign, which aims to bring birth control to college students and other young adults “in their natural habitat.” Our movie night was open to anyone and we had extra help from The Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance (who helped us get the room) and Students With A Responsible Message (SWARM), who were awesome enough to bring free condoms for everyone!
SWARM with their awesome condoms and mini lubes (yes, those exist!)
We started out the night with pizza and Bedsider Fact or Fiction videos, which were playing as people walked in. The videos definitely broke the ice and led to some pretty interesting conversations about common sex myths—like that you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex or that certain positions can literally stop the sperm from working. Um, fiction. After everyone settled down with their pizza, we were ready to start Friends With Benefits. Because, seriously, who has hotter sex than Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis?
No one, that’s who. Throughout the movie we had people signing up for birth control reminders and checking out Bedsider.org and our awesome Facebook page on their smartphones and laptops.
At the end of movie we passed out awesome prizes and free swag and answered questions about Bedsider. The first 10 people who signed up for our text reminders got a free Bedsider t-shirt—and trust me when I say there is no better prize for a college student than something that lets them put off laundry for another day (or two). The first 15 people who liked our Facebook page also got a Bedsider prize pack and at the end of the night we raffled off a $25 IHOP gift card to one lucky winner!
The good times didn’t stop there—we passed out candy canes on Greene Street and at Pendleton Bridge in the week between classes and exams. And let me tell you, nothing is better than the look on someone’s face when you not only hand them candy, but hand them candy that has the #1 tip for hotter sex.
Our lovely USC Campus Ambassadors at movie night!
PS: Want to know that #1 tip for better sex? Get on birth control!
I feel like a lot of assumptions are made about college aged women and unintended pregnancy, like just how much we know about contraception and how well we would be able to provide for a child. So much emphasis is put on teen pregnancy but a span of 3 or 4 years does not make that much difference especially when you add student loans. Because YES an unintended pregnancy is still a big freaking deal to a women in her 20’s, and no one talks about it!
From “Campus Celebrity: Connor Davies, UMD Bedsider Ambassador.”
We couldn’t have said it better. Allow us to heartily recommend this HerCampus profile featuring Bedsider UMD Ambassador and college sex ed superstar Connor Davies! (We are so freakin’ lucky to have her.)
Bedsider in the Wild: Bread, Balloons, and Many, Many Condoms
In November of 2012, in the dead of night, an hour of nonstop laughing, jokes about bananas, free food, free swag, and reliable and relatable information on birth control took place in a crowded little room on the University of Maryland campus. But let’s start from the beginning…
Captain’s log: Day 1
All members of the Bedsider UMD crew have assembled! Having sent into the wild blue yonder a humble request to sponsor an event for BAM (Bisexuals at Maryland) and have finally received permission to proceed, we have posted fliers round the campus.
Captain’s log: Day 4
Rough seas—hurricane Sandy sure took a bite out of our planning time! But never fear, the internet is here—three cheers for Google docs and reliable wifi. We rode out the storm, cuddled in our respective beds with dreams of long-acting reversible contraceptives and barrier methods dancing in our heads.
Captain’s log: Day 7
RUSH RUSH RUSH RUSH! *looks at watch* 11:30 pm! RUSH RUSH RUSH.
- Homemade mini pumpkin breads with personalized Bedsider labels? Check.
- Supplies for Bedsider sex trivia (pads of paper, markers, bananas, un-lubricated condoms)? Check.
- 20 Bedsider UMD cups stuffed with reminder cards, chap stick, candy and condoms? Check.
- 4 super-swag-bags filled with cups, chap stick, post-it notes, keychains, a birth control catalog, coasters, romance kit with candles and matches, candy, lube, and condoms of many varieties? Check.
- Display supplies, table cover, buttons, GIANT BAG OF CONDOMS, FEMALE CONDOMS, AND DENTAL DAMS, birth control text reminder post cards, Bedsider poster, and T-shirts? Check.
Time to sleep? NOPE! Exams tomorrow. STUDY STUDY STUDY…
Captain’s log: Day 8
It’s the homestretch—all we need to do is stay focused and get through the day and it will be smooth sailing… Wait, they sell balloons at the school store? No way—WE MUST HAVE THEM! *Buys 12* Okay, no harm done, just take these back to home base, take one last exam, then (finally!) get ready for “Bedsider meets BAM.”
And voilà! Event. After a couple huffing and puffing trips across the cold campus in the dead of night, we made it to the site of the BAM event within the most convoluted, M.C. Esher-esque building you can imagine, only to be told that the room for the event had been changed. Twice. But not to worry—the setback gave us time to create awesome birth-control-themed drawings on the balloons! Birth control has gone airborne! (Kind of.)
Much like at our last event with the Satanic Mechanics, we started the evening by getting to know each other over baked goods and soda, encouraging people to write anonymous questions to be answered at the end of the event. Then, with the room crowded to the corners, we commenced our Bedsider walk-through with a barrage of puns, like this new one for withdrawal: “Just remember! You have to STOP before you POP!”
It was interesting to tailor this walk-through for our audience—we were vigilant about gender-neutral language to refer to partners and kept in mind that not every sexual encounter has the potential to lead to an unplanned pregnancy, but every sexual encounter can potentially put folks at risk of some STIs.
It didn’t take long for the conversation to come around to the topic of healthy relationships, and everyone agreed that communication is key. That opened up the topic of talking with partners about birth control—maybe checking out the Bedsider methods page could be a couple’s activity?
From there, things got a bit more rough and tumble (emphasis on the tumble) with a game that awarded points for accuracy, speed and creativity. Two members from each team had to come to the front of the room to demonstrate their interpretation of a fully clothed 69 position. Shoes went flying, arms were waving, people oohed and ahhed at the creative genius of the brave participants. But there could only be one winner—a pair of burly men who successfully assembled into an impressive standing 69.
After the most physically exerting portion of the games, we moved on to trivia. Just how many calories are in the average male’s grand finale? Answers ranged from as many as a big mac (300 calories!) to a comparison to a healthy snack like a granola bar (30-50 cal). Only one team was right on the dot with 5 cal….sounds like someone has been to one of our events before!
Last, but certainly not least, the potassium-rich portion of our event—a very special condom relay that could encourage people to shout “LOOK MOM, NO HANDS!” …On the other hand, your mom doesn’t really need to know that you can successfully put a condom on a banana with no hands.
In the end, swag was distributed to all who signed up for Bedsider or liked our Facebook page. Everyone left with lungs exhausted from laughing, ready to face the holidays with heads full of practical, fun, reliable information.
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In September, Bedsider launched its first-ever student-run programs at University of Maryland, University of South Carolina, American University, and Howard University. The Bedsider Campus Ambassador program takes birth control to college students in their natural habitat—the wild world of campus. You will spot Bedsider hosting trivia nights, showing fun movies, and dropping some birth control knowledge in the quad. And because this internet thing is here to stay, you can connect with all the campus programs on Facebook.
Bedsider in the Wild: UMD Kinklings Edition
In September, Bedsider launched its first-ever student-run programs at University of Maryland, University of South Carolina, American University, and Howard University. The Bedsider Campus Ambassador program takes birth control to college students in their natural habitat—the wild world of campus. You will spot Bedsider hosting trivia nights, showing fun movies, and dropping some birth control knowledge in the quad. And because this internet thing is here to stay, you can connect with all the campus programs on Facebook. Our first “In the Wild” post comes from our campus ambassadors at UMD.
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At 5pm on Saturday October 13th, 2012, the University of Maryland’s Bedsider Ambassadors held their first event on the UMD Campus as a part of the Bedsider in the wild campaign, aimed at bringing birth control to college students and other young adults “in their natural habitat.” The UMD event was held specifically for two student groups on campus: the Satanic Mechanics, a Rocky Horror Picture Show cast, and the College Park Kinklings, a group of kinky students which isn’t officially affiliated with the University.
Things started out pretty casual—hanging out in the campus radio station getting to know each other, putting questions in the anonymous question box, and chowing down on some homemade penis cookies. FUN FACT! No one approached the penis cookie balls first (good idea for a study there).
Getting down to business, we went through a Bedsider walk–through, which was slightly edited due to technical difficulties. But hey! That’s what sparkling personalities are for. And if birth control wasn’t titillating enough, we also had 2 representatives from the College Park Kinklings talk about the ins-and-outs of kinky relationships, from being proud of your personal kinks and communicating with partners to sex-toy safety and the importance of having a safe word. One of our goals for the evening was to bring kink out of the shadows and into open conversation. Kinda like what Bedsider is trying to do for birth control. Safe in body, mind, and communication—a winning combination!
So a pad of paper, a banana, and an unlubricated condom walk into a bar—what do you get? A sexy kinky game show, that’s what! We started out with a bang: “What is the Lotus sex position? 2 points for drawing or describing it….3 points for acting it out! (Clothes on, of course.)” Only one team was outgoing enough to take a go at acting it out, and they just so happened to be a pair of 6 foot 5 inch tall burly men. From there we moved on to sex and kink trivia, sex pictionary, condom balloon animals, and, for the grand finale, a condom relay (hence the banana). But this wasn’t just some run-of-the-mill condom relay—oh no, this was a hands free condom relay! I’ll let your imaginations take it from there.
In the end, the rules were fake and the points didn’t matter and everyone got a fun and functional prize-bag filled with Bedsider cups, chap-stick, condoms, candy, and more information about where to go to to learn more about birth control and sexual health. And what better place to start than Bedsider.org/UMD?
Dispatches from a College Sexpert: Dos and Don’ts for Smooth Sexiling
Sex can be hard to talk about even with our closest friends and partners, but the college experience sometimes makes it necessary to discuss it with complete strangers—a.k.a. roommates. There is already a lot to negotiate when you live with someone—especially someone you’ve never met, let alone shared a (small) space with. So here are some dos and don’ts for getting it on in the dorms, respectfully, with yourself or a partner.
Your Roommate(s):
It’s easy to assume that just because you’d be okay with something (say, your roommate’s partner staying the night), your roommate will have the same views—but that’s not always the case. So, instead of the “golden rule,” here’s a better one: “Do unto your roommates as they would have done to them.”
1) DO find out how your roommates feel about sex, love, and masturbation. It can be really useful to know when you approach them with these topics. When you do, try to be straightforward and understanding of differences, but assertive—if any or all these things are a part of your life, you’ll probably want to be able to do them in the space you share.
2) DON’T assume your roommate’s okay with you and your partner sleeping together in your room regularly, or even once in a while. It’s definitely worth a conversation when your partner is not there or about to come over. There has been some controversy over bunk beds and whether it’s okay if you can only hear and not see—might be something else to talk about.
3) DO come up with a signal and use it. It can be anything from a subtle (or not so subtle) text message to a sign on the door. This goes both ways, no matter who needs the room or what they need it for.
4) DO invest in a room/suite/apartment pack of emergency contraception if some or all of you are getting busy. It is a worthwhile investment and can make an “oops” moment a lot less stressful.
Yourself:
So you’re getting down with yourself—good for you. Since there’s (unnecessary) stigma surrounding masturbation (especially for women), here are some tips for being comfortable with it and smart too.
5) DO invest in a high-quality and low-sound toy if you don’t want the entire dorm to know what you’re up to. They also sell water-resistant or waterproof vibrators, if doing it in the shower appeals to you.
6) DON’T forget to clean your toys. If you don’t want to wash it in the sink, hiding it in your shower caddy and washing it off there can work for water-resistant toys.
7) DO figure out when your roommate or roommates aren’t going to be around. You may want to text them as well to let them know that you’re “using” the room (or however else you want to phrase it), so they know you’re not just napping.
Your Partner:
There’s always give and take in relationships and balancing your partner and your roommate (not to mention your partner’s roommate) can be difficult. Here are some tips for keeping it fair and equal.
8) DO talk to your partner about what you’re comfortable doing when roommates are around. It helps to be straightforward because feeling uncomfortable during sex isn’t fun for anyone.
9) DON’T assume that your partner can always “host” you two. Even if his or her roommate is single or “less busy” doesn’t mean it’s not a burden to have an extra roommate (especially if that roommate causes you to leave the room).
10) Do honor your agreement with your roommate by talking to your partner about it and making sure he/she understands that you plan to stick to it.
Bonus Tip:
11) DO try to make it work. Roommates may not be forever, but a year (or more) living with someone who passive-aggressively dislikes you or your relationship won’t be fun for anyone.
That’s it for me! I’ve had a blast working on Bedsider and writing this blog. Thanks for all the love and I wish you all safe and sexy years!
“Under the Bed 1” image by Brian Lane Winfield Moore.
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Catherine Rivera is an intern for Bedsider. When she’s not counseling, teaching, researching or writing about sex and relationships, this Stanford University student can be found passing out condoms to her fellow students, mentoring middle school girls, indulging her sweet tooth , reading the news, or attempting to get inside the heads of her four younger brothers. Catherine doesn’t have a personal tumblr (yet), but you can follow her on twitter @cmrivera2013.
Dispatches from a College Sexpert: 5 Tips for Going the Distance
With freshmen leaving home for campus and students graduating or spending semesters abroad, long-distance relationships (LDRs) are practically a college requirement. And whether you’re in one with someone from back home or someone from school, it can be hard to imagine getting through it in one piece. (I’ve never run a marathon, but I imagine it’s a bit like that.) As someone who has managed to survive a couple college LDRs, I wanted to share some tips I (and a few of my friends) have picked up over the years.
1) DO set ground rules to start—but be flexible enough to make changes along the way. Some things to regularly check in about are your preferred communication method(s), times you’re both free, how often you want to talk, and what constitutes cheating. (Many people have different definitions, especially when apart, so ground rules are always good.)
2) DON’T focus only on the past or the future every time you talk—it can get really old and the relationship, even if you’re apart, should stay in the present.
3) DO talk about what each of you is comfortable doing to keep your sex life going. Communicate about whether you’ll pleasure yourselves independently or with each other’s help via text, phone, chat, videochat, or parcel post. Hint: If you use gchat, you can turn the chat “off the record” in case it gets dirtier than you’d like to remember.
4) DON’T constantly pass up great opportunities (for travel, internships, study, etc) to be with your partner; if it doesn’t work out down the line, this can make the breakup even worse. That being said, if you’re apart for an extended period of time, planning when you’ll see each other and how you’ll keep in touch—and sticking to that plan—is a good idea.
5) DO keep in touch. Sending e-mails or even snail mail to update your partner or remind them how much they mean to you helps them seem less far away. Even if it’s just texting good morning and goodnight, it’s easier to deal with being apart if some patterns stay in place.
And now, the bonus tip you’ve all been waiting for: Don’t let the distance keep you from dating.
Here’s how to set up a long-distance date night in 4 easy steps:
1) Set a time when you’re both free for a few hours to talk and stick to it. Make sure your roommates, friends, and other possible interrupters know you’re busy. Then, get excited—it’s a date night, after all.
2) Watch a movie or clips using YouTube videos through a google + hangout. I recommend putting your partner into his or her own circle so you don’t accidentally invite everyone into your hangout during one-on-one time.
3) If you’re feeling frisky, you can fool around by chat, text, or phone. See tip #3 for more details.
4) Talk about the movie you watched, the great time you just had, or anything you normally would and say goodnight as you would on an in-person date.
If you have tips on making long distance work, let me know. For those of you heading into an LDR, I hope the tips help you make it through. Successful communication during long distance can make the relationship even better post-reunion. More good stuff about LDRs can be found here. Check in next week for tips on smooth sexiling.
“Maraton Madrid II” image by Antonio Martin.
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Catherine Rivera is an intern for Bedsider. When she’s not counseling, teaching, researching or writing about sex and relationships, this Stanford University student can be found passing out condoms to her fellow students, mentoring middle school girls, indulging her sweet tooth , reading the news, or attempting to get inside the heads of her four younger brothers. Catherine doesn’t have a personal tumblr (yet), but you can follow her on twitter @cmrivera2013.
Dispatches from a College Sexpert: Consent is Sexy!
If there’s one thing you need to have before hitting the sheets, it’s consent. It’s the only thing more essential to great sex (or any sex, really) than effective birth control. Consent is the basic notion that you’re receiving pleasure in the way that you want to receive it and giving it in the way your partner wants it. Sounds pretty basic, but there are some crucial details that people don’t always understand. Here are 5 consent rules of thumb that everyone should have in mind when getting it on.
1) Always get consent before doing anything sexual with another person, especially if you’re with a new partner (or trying something new with an old one). Consent means that the person has said “yes” or affirmed the act in other ways—simply not saying “no” doesn’t count. Assault happens when someone doesn’t understand this or doesn’t care that the other person is uncomfortable or not actively seeking a certain sexual act.
2) You can always say no. There’s always room to say no to sex or anything else at any time before or during the act, whether it’s your long-term partner or someone you just met. If you ever feel uncomfortable with something you’re doing, ask your partner to stop or slow down. This includes feeling comfortable with the protection you’re using; you should feel safe in every way.
3) Watch the alcohol. When you’re drunk, you can’t really consent to sex—or other important decisions, for that matter—which means that black-out hookups aren’t the best idea for multiple reasons. Laci Green has a great video blog that gives more details and this infographic explains the risk.
4) Have a network. The White House is doing a campaign called “1 is 2 Many” against sexual assault and violence on campuses and sponsored an Isis-made app to help keep students safe. This campaign includes a video including a lot of politicians and David Beckam in a suit (just saying it’s worth a watch).
5) Get help. If you or a friend is a victim of sexual assault or dating violence (1 in 5 women in college will be the victim of sexual assault or attempted assault), there are lots of resources to contact to get help. If there is a risk of pregnancy, emergency contraception can lower it.
If you’re hooking up this summer, I hope it’s consensual and amazing. And with the new school year approaching, I’ll be focusing in my last two posts on tips for being as sexy and safe as possible on campus.
“Sign: Consent is Sexy” courtesy of Finding Tampa.
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Catherine Rivera is an intern for Bedsider. When she’s not counseling, teaching, researching or writing about sex and relationships, this Stanford University student can be found passing out condoms to her fellow students, mentoring middle school girls, indulging her sweet tooth , reading the news, or attempting to get inside the heads of her four younger brothers. Catherine doesn’t have a personal tumblr (yet), but you can follow her on twitter @cmrivera2013.
