This Wednesday, February 12th, 2014, at 12:30pm EST, Bedsider and BET are joining forces to talk love, relationships, and birth control—tweetchat-style and just in time for Valentine’s Day. We’ll have Dr. Colleen Krajewski (a.k.a. Dr. K) taking over Bedsider’s Twitter feed to answer your questions about birth control; BET’s relationship expert Dr. Michelle will tackle love and relationships.
If you want a little food for thought beforehand, check out the PSAs we made with BET and the Ad Council. Then, when you’re feeling sufficiently awkward, read some tips from ESSENCE Magazine’s brilliant relationships editor Charreah Jackson on how to talk to anyone about sex—without it being awkward.
What’s lube got to do with it? [Sponsored] Note: this post is sponsored. All opinions are my own.
My first memories of learning about birth control are literally all awkward. Like class full of teenagers sitting in a room and staring at jumbo-sized slides of gonorrhea awkward. Like Mean Girls awkward. All I knew was that I didn’t know much, and the last person I wanted to ask was my conservative health teacher.
And as much as I love them and value their wisdom, I wasn’t about to stroll into my parents’ room after dinner and ask them about barrier methods. No, thank you—I was not tryna get sent to the motherland for being “fast.”
I remember really wanting a space where I could do some streamlined, comprehensive learning…on my own because it’s my body. And this shit is awkward enough without someone else regulating my thoughts on it. We’ve all heard so many bizarre rumors about birth control (no…having sex in a hot tub doesn’t prevent you from getting pregnant, but I’d be lying if I said 12-year-old Hannah didn’t believe that for 30 seconds).
Especially in light of the ongoing war on reproductive rights, it’s increasingly important to keep ourselves updated on not only contraception, but also STI prevention and treatment. And it’s so important to have that basic knowledge for yourself before you talk to your partner(s) about their preferences. Having a solid baseline knowledge of contraception methods and STI prevention radically improves your sex life (or so my non-abstinent friend told me…hey, mom!)
What’s cool is that now I have that space—and I get to share it with y’all! :) Bedsider.org’s super helpful tools, guides, and interactive forums spell out damn near everything you could want to know about multiple methods of birth control (and maybe some stuff you don’t). It’s free, it’s simple, and it’s definitely less awkward than your grandmother’s “just keep them legs closed” speech.
Reality check: More than half of all people who have sex will get a sexually transmitted infection (STI) in their lifetime.
Women between the ages of 15 and 24 have about a 1 in 30 chance of contracting a common STI like chlamydia or gonorrhea.
We hope that doesn’t include you—and we want to help you prevent it—but if it does happen, it’s your responsibility to tell your partners. Yep, even if you might lose them. Even if you’re scared. Even if you’re afraid the news will get around. It’s the right thing to do.
"Choose your own adventure" safer sex? Um, yes please!
Did you love “choose your own adventure” books growing up? Then check out our new video – it’s choose your own adventure, safe sex style! And don’t forget to share with your friends.
Get comfortable embracing the fact you were born a sexual being—even if that means setting a monthly date on your Google calendar to explore your sensuality. The more you engage with your own sexual identity, the more empowered you’ll be to take charge in and outside the bedroom. There’s nothing sexier than being responsible for your own destiny.
Discussing your body and future is way more revealing than taking off your clothes, so talking with my boyfriend about protecting ourselves from unplanned pregnancy has only increased our intimacy. It also forces both of us to actively contribute to our birth control plan since we know we’d both be responsible for a baby.
It really doesn’t have to be this awkward. We’ve got 5 tips for talking to anyone about sex and birth control, courtesy of ESSENCE relationships editor Charreah Jackson, to help you get the conversation started.
Neighbors fight over loud sex with even LOUDER NOTES!
Looks like these two have some trust issues. I don’t know who the bigger loser is in this situation. The angry neighbor who has to put up with the loud masturbation, the loud masturbator who is being shamed when SEX IS NATURAL AND HEALTHY, the neighbor who took the picture that has to put up with these two freaks, or me for spending nearly an hour going over these notes like a forensic scientist as if they were the fucking Shroud of Turin! Are we being trolled here? Why would the masturbator post the note on her own door? And a plug for a sex shop should push anyone’s bullshit meter into the red. What does it say about our culture when you can no longer believe in an angry, public, neighbor note fight over loud masturbation? Thoughts? (by Jonathan Corbett)
Via Happy Place
Thin walls are no fun, but we’re gonna have to side with 517 on this one… (Get it, girl.)
It wasn’t that the services a man provides with his tongue, fingers, and Big Lebowski fall short, she explained. Just that toys ratchet up the intensity—like Sriracha, but for sex.