Boldly Going Online for Love
We’ve come across some interesting dating sites in our day, and the premiere of Star Trek into Darkness inspired us to boldly go where we haven’t been before to investigate Star-Trek-themed dating sites to add to the list.
In case you’re interested, we’ve found StarTrekDating.com, which encourages users to “set phasers to stunning,” and TrekPassions.com, which has a special group for users who speak Klingon (we wish them Qapla’!). Any others we missed?
Now, if only these Star Trek condoms and birth control packets were real…
Image via bookishbutcorruptible.
Long distance relationships just got a whole lot sexier.
Is this the best combination of sex and technology yet? Durex is working on a line of undergarments (Fundawear—badum-ching!) that vibrate when activated by mobile phone. That’s right, remote-operated vibrating underwear are in development.
They’re not available for purchase yet, but it looks like the Aussies will be the first to give this product a go. (Gives new meaning to the land down under…)
5 Apps to Spice Up Your (Real or Imaginary) Sex Life
We’ve shared our favorite smartphone tools to help you have a great time between the sheets while preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Next on the agenda, 5 apps to spice up your (real or imaginary) sex life.
1. BootyLog
This app totally rocks—though we might be a little biased. You can create an anonymous user profile and upload your sauciest and silliest sex stories (like this hilarious one) for others to read. Or you can just browse other users’ stories—from a 48 hour sex marathon to engaging in a little BDSM to “sexy fun” on a lazy Sunday (we made postcards of a few of our favorites). The app also has a BootyMap so you can see what other users in your area are doing in the sack (or in the street or hallway). And of course BootyLog reminds users to prevent unplanned pregnancies by choosing the birth control that’s right for them.
We say: Log it!
Ever admired a Facebook friend (or two, or three) from afar but weren’t sure how to propose a hookup? Bang with Friends aims to solve this frustrating problem. Users indicate which of their Facebook friends they would like to fool around with and if two people say they’re DTF with each other, the app will notify them both. It was designed by a German group, which makes the Google translation of their welcome email quite funny (let’s hope that “Let it rip!” means something else in German…).
One downside of Bang with Friends is that your dream Facebook-friend-with-benefits also has to use the app—and we’re guessing it’s still pretty unlikely that he or she will be a user given the novelty of the app. Another downside based on our experimentation: it seems like the technical kinks haven’t been worked out yet, so sometimes mutual propositions between friends don’t make it to your inbox. How’s that for a cock block?
For more information on how the app works—and for a great reminder to use condoms—check out their how-to page.
We say: Meh.
A twist on the classic truth or dare, this app is designed to be played in a group—and while I’m pretty sure that I have a very open-minded group of friends, I doubt that they would be down to play this game without dangerous levels of alcohol in their systems. With dares like, “Strip down to your underwear and get in the shower with the person next to you,” it is understandable that some people would be uncomfortable. It also comes with rather unsexy dares such as, “Wear only a toilet paper diaper for the next 10 minutes” and “Make out with your neighbor’s butt like you are in love.”
But while we’re not totally buying it, the Truth or Dare app could be a fun way to see just how crazy your friends are. Just remember to keep it super-safe (condoms, birth control, and the most important ingredient of all, good communication) if a striptease turns into something more…
We say: Um, save it for a snow day?
4. Kindu
Imagine you want to cover yourself in chocolate and have your partner tie you to the bedpost but you don’t know how to bring it up in conversation. “Honey, could you please pass the salt and then lick chocolate syrup off my inner thigh tonight?” might not work, even if you’re really close with your significant other. Kindu hopes to solve this communication problem by giving both parties a list of different, less-than-conventional sexual activities for both to answer ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or ‘maybe’ to. If a couple disagrees (let’s say she wants to go to an S&M club and he doesn’t), then Kindu hides these answers to avoid embarrassment for either party. If they both answer ‘maybe,’ then Kindu lets them know that they should discuss it later together. And if they answer ‘yes,’ well then there is one more happy couple in the world.
The downside: it costs 99 cents and both partners have to purchase the app. Still a worthy investment in our book.
We say: Anniversary treat?
Much like the Truth or Dare app, this one can be played in groups or as a couple. Group play may easily become awkward (“Three way kiss time” and “Get completely butt naked” are possibilities), while couple play may be a little boring. But hey—it could still be better than the typical kegger.
We say: For when Quarters gets old.
Of course, we think the sexiest way to spice things up is by finding the perfect birth control that works for you and your partner. And if you’re still looking for more ways to heat up your relationship, we’ve got some suggestions in the Frisky Friday archives.
Before we conclude College Week, we’d be remiss not to display the back of the gorgeous condom dress made by our ambassadors at the University of South Carolina. Looks like someone has a future in safe-sex fashion…
Comprehensive Safer Sex 3: Take it to the next level
As part of STD Awareness Month, Jenelle Marie of The STD Project is contributing a three-part series to our tumblr (along with an article for Bedsider.org) sharing her experiences with STIs and her suggestions for how to have the safest sex possible. This is the final post of the series.
Always bring a raincoat even if you’re not expecting rain. Image source: George Eastman House
When thinking about a comprehensive safer-sex regimen, it helps to keep in mind things that are not considered part of safer-sex too, because it’s really easy to get overwhelmed or a bit confused when you’re trying to be as responsible with your sexual health as possible.
Although sex comes with some hefty implications for your health and emotional well-being, it doesn’t have to be all business and no play. In fact, adding humor to your safer-sex plan can make those steps seem less cumbersome. When you can laugh about the things that seem a bit awkward, you lighten the mood and open the opportunity to explore and learn together.
This shouldn’t be a deal breaker for a partner. In fact, it should be very sexy to them that you’re conscientious and careful. If it’s not, you should ask yourself if this is the right person for you. Someone who cares about their body and their health is also more apt to care about you, your body, and your health. Do you really want to get intimate with someone who doesn’t place safer sex on their list of priorities?
At the end of the day, you and your partner have to decide which risks you’re willing to accept, and how you’re most comfortable negotiating them together. Whether it’s for a long-term relationship or just for a night, it should be the responsibility of both partners to talk about safer sex and prepare to be sexually healthy in the bedroom.
If you’re already living with an STI…
We talk about STIs in depth on The STD Project and provide a lot of the basic information you can find on sexual health websites alongside the grey areas most people are afraid to talk about—how to live with and have healthy relationships with an STI, when to tell someone you have an STI, how to tell someone you have an STI, and more.
Whether you’re living with an STI or doing your best to educate yourself about how to avoid them, a comprehensive safer-sex approach is the sexiest and safest way to be sexually healthy.
College Week, Day 4: Condoms GALORE!!
Today’s College Week spotlight is on our Bedsider ambassadors at University of South Carolina (BedsiderSC), who took the message of safer sex to the runway. Here’s the story behind the titillating dress they created.
Model and crew backstage before the epic show.
This semester, BedsiderSC has become very popular with the help of our ambassadors and volunteers, who have held countless programs to teach USC our mission—to educate women about their birth control options by providing unbiased information and medical facts. In particular, BedsiderSC has put on events such as movie nights with residence halls, participated in The Vagina Monologues, handed out Valentine’s Day candy and condoms, and hosted a book discussion with Omega Phi Alpha.
But our most exciting and successful event by far this semester was Project Condom, which is a lot like Project Runway…if every dress was made from condoms. This may sound outlandish, but the goal of the event was to create awareness about condoms, promote their effectiveness in preventing pregnancy and STIs, and generate publicity for the resources available through USC’s Student Health Center. Since these are all things we as Bedsider Ambassadors can get behind, we were excited to participate.
Model Katie getting ready for her debut as a Gladiator for Project Condom.
We spent hours coming up with a design, finding a model, and making and perfecting the condom dress. After some serious brainstorming, we came up with the idea of a gold and pink Gladiator condom dress to represent a strong, fearless woman standing up for her rights to birth control access and information.
After all of our hard work and preparation, we were excited to make it into the top 5 during the show, and even more thrilled when we won 3rd place overall. On top of that, participating in this show helped us get the word out about BedsiderSC’s awesome mission and make connections with other rad campus organizations.
Condom sandals? A sneak peek of what’s coming up tomorrow, when our fierce ambassadors at the University of South Carolina will be in the College Week spotlight!
It’s College Week at Bedsider! Today’s spotlight is on our longtime friends in the Lone Star State at BedsiderATX. Don’t let the missed Girls reference fool you into thinking they’re not super-hip.
Comprehensive Safer Sex 2: Reduce your risk!
As part of STD Awareness Month, Jenelle Marie of The STD Project is contributing a three-part series to our tumblr (along with an article for Bedsider.org) sharing her experiences with STIs and her suggestions for how to have the safest sex possible. This is the second post of the series.
Talk to your partner before getting down to your skivvies. Photo by The US National Archives.
While you can’t eliminate all risk when getting intimate with a partner, a comprehensive approach that includes prevention and communication can greatly reduce your likelihood of contracting an infection as I have. Taking these 4 comprehensive safer-sex steps not only reduces your risk but exudes responsibility, ownership, and empowerment.
1. Talk to your partner about safer sex before anything happens.These conversations should include questions like:
- Have either of us—or any of our partners—ever had an STI? When? Did we get treated? Did it come back and/or were we re-tested after treatment?
- Have we been tested—if so, when, for which STIs, and have we had partners since?
- How many sexual partners have we had in the last six months—what did we do to make sex safer? Have we been tested since?
- What do we usually do to make sex safer and what do we plan to do when we engage in sexual activities with one another?
2. Have full STI screenings and sexual health exams at least once a year and more often if you have new or multiple partners.
- Before engaging in sexual activities with someone new, get tested together. If either of you had other partners recently, get tested again in 3 months to eliminate false negatives and use barriers until testing is complete.
- Get tested before and after each new partner.
3. Use barriers consistently and correctly.
- When using a condom, place a drop or two of lube on the inside, and lots on the outside. LUBE is EVERYONE’s friend.
- Never use more than one condom at a time.
- When using a dam, place a drop or two of lube on the side facing the genitals.
- When switching entry points (anal to vaginal, vice-a-versa, etc.) use a new condom.
- Use condoms or barriers for oral sex as well as penetrative sex.
- Do not use flavored condoms for anal or vaginal sex.
- Only use water-based or silicon-based, sugar-free lube with condoms—no lotions, vaseline, oils, etc.
4. Consider making safer lifestyle choices to reduce risk.
- Reduce the number of multiple partners (one after another or more than one at a time).
- Limit/eliminate drugs and alcohol when engaging in sexual activities.
- Be mutually exclusive with your partner.
Check in on April 18th for the final post of this series, “Comprehensive Safer Sex 3: Take it to the next level.”
Jenelle Marie is the Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project—an award-winning independent website and progressive movement aimed at eradicating STD stigma by facilitating and encouraging awareness, education, and acceptance through story-telling and resource recommendations. You can also find The STD Project on Facebook and Twitter. Look for her E-Book, ‘The Relationship Survival Guide to Living with an STD’ available in 2013.
Do you know everything you need to know about STDs? …Are you sure?
