I pretended I gave a shit about competitive cycling for like two hours once (waste of time, he sucked in bed)
4 Ways to fall in love with yourself this summer
Summer’s long days and warm nights are perfect for a budding romance—but who says your summer fling has to be with someone else? These months are a perfect opportunity to spend some time with yourself: learning, growing, and enjoying your own fabulous company. Here are four of our favorite ways to fall in love with yourself in summer.
1. Hit the Beach
The beach is a summer classic for a reason—it’s sunny, hot, and beautiful. Go the traditional route, if that’s your thing: pack your swimsuit and some reading material and enjoy an afternoon in and out of the waves. But don’t be scared to mix it up, because the best summer experiences are often the new ones. Try heading to the beach in the morning or evening, taking a dog for a jog along the water, or taking a surfing or paddleboarding class. Don’t forget to pay attention to what you like—when you’re dating yourself, it’s all about you.
2. Take a Drive
Summer is the perfect time for a road trip—make a playlist, pick a destination, and hit the road for an afternoon. Check out that nearby town you’ve been meaning to visit, or set out with no plan and see where the highway takes you. No car? Don’t let that stop you—buy a bus ticket, borrow a bike, or get on a train. The key is to get away from home for a few hours and come back with a story to tell.
3. Enjoy the Food
Seek out one amazing food experience this summer, whether it’s as simple as a perfect peach or as delicious as a hamburger you grilled yourself and savored solo, in your backyard. Summer’s the season for farmer’s markets and picking your own produce (if that’s your bag), but it can also be a great time to treat yourself to dinner at a new restaurant with only a new book or magazine for company. And if you don’t have a signature summer refreshment, refine your recipe—you’ll have a blast taste testing and be prepared for your next cookout.
4. Go to a Movie
Our all time favorite self-date is a classic: the movies. If you’ve never seen one by yourself, allow us to highly recommend it. Sneak in your favorite candy, see something you’d never see on an actual date, and sit wherever you want in the theater—no need to find space for more than one, or end up in the front row because your date was late or likes to see Sandra Bullock at point-blank range. Bliss out on the air-conditioning and enjoy losing yourself in a good (or not-so-good) story.
Have more ideas for how to show yourself a good time? We wanna hear ‘em.
Bay Area Lessons: How to tell if a white guy is flirting?
Recently, I went west to research and film Love in the Bay Area (Berkeley, Oakland, and San Francisco), and found it to be the PERFECT place to report on dating, relationships, and sex. These topics are already being discussed in great detail out there—seemingly at all times—at least among the folks I encountered. I spent five glorious days talking to literally everyone I made eye contact with about their love lives.
My biggest take-away: Whatever you’re into romantically, you can find it in the Bay Area. And whether it’s an unusual fetish or an odd-to-most relationship dynamic, there will be very little (if any) shaming involved as you search for your ideal partner(s).
Realizing all this, I couldn’t help but wonder what growing up in one of these cities would be like. Would I have made different decisions? How much more successful would I be in getting what my heart desires? Would I have been in an interracial relationship by now?
I asked Asha Richardson—a 21-year-old African-American woman who was born and raised in Oakland—that last question. And despite Oakland being named as one of the Top 12 U.S. cities for interracial relationships in, “Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed,” Asha has the exact same issue I have—not always knowing when a non-black guy is flirting.
While hanging out in Awaken Cafe (a very cute, hipster spot with free wi-fi) in Oakland, Asha asked Jack, her white guy friend: How do I know if a white guy is flirting with me?
Okay. If a guy literally poked me, the way Jack described, I’d know he was flirting! Proving once again that no one group is monolithic and there are exceptions to every rule. Or maybe the “Jacks” of the world are more likely to move to the The Bay?
Are Asha and I the only ones who have asked this question? Have you found it more difficult to pick up on some folks’ ways of flirting? Inquiring minds want to know!
Veralyn Williams is a Multimedia Freelance Journalist currently working in New York City. She has spent 4 years at WNYC Radio working with various departments including: Radio Rookies, Culture, News, and Freakonomics. She also freelances for Black Enterprise, BronxNet Television, Bedsider, and The Museum for African Art. Her independent work is featured on her website VeralynMedia.com. Through all of her endeavors she aims to give a voice to perspectives that are often forgotten in the media.
Eat dessert first. Go out in a new neighborhood. Have sex in the kitchen. The point is to do the opposite of what you usually do and shake things up.
oh oh I get it. Your boyfriend doesn’t like condoms. So you don’t wear them.
Does he happen to like babies?
Don’t date that.
Some useful equations for Method Monday, inspired by this “Date this not that” illustration: Boyfriends who are into safer sex = awesome; boyfriends who refuse to use condoms = not awesome. And to all the condom skeptics out there, fear not—research confirmed that condoms don’t decrease sexual pleasure.
We say: protecting yourself (and your partner) from unwanted pregnancy and STIs = awesome-est.