Having that social construct thrown out like it’s fact that women naturally want less sex just makes me want to scream. There’s so much variance among both sexes…It’s so individual. You can’t say men have a higher drive, or women do. All we can say is this: Some people want more sex than other people. It varies widely from person to person regardless of sex.
If you’re a woman with a stronger sex drive than your male partner, this Huffington Post article has an important message for you: you are not alone.
Whether or not you can directly relate, the stories are definitely worth a read. And if the subject hits home for you, check out our Frisky Friday on tips for dealing with mismatched libidos.
I avoid triggers - things like music with heavy bass, vibrations from riding a train or an idle car, cold air, musky cologne, darkness, stress, scary movies, romantic movies, unexpected touch, a full bladder. [PGAD] is completely unrelated to sex drive. Watching sex scenes does nothing for me, but the other day, when a friend put his hand on my back, I found it really hard to contain a screaming orgasm.
Wow. Too many orgasms? We’re not gonna lie, it’s tempting to make a joke about not being able to conceive of such a thing—but the condition described in this Huffington Post article actually sounds serious.
Maybe a tweak to our tag line? “We believe knowledge is power. We believe babies (and orgasms) are best when you’re ready. We believe in you.”
And most importantly, with regard to any and all activities, if it doesn’t taste delicious, don’t swallow.
Barb Stuckey, “Why Eating Should Be More Like Sex.” (Huffington Post)
And our second-favorite quote from the article:
Sex is, of course, a tactile experience. Yet our enjoyment of it comes from the combination of visual, sound, smell and taste inputs. If you have trouble imagining how our eyes impact our sensuality, all you have to do is consider that porn accounts for 30% of all internet traffic. We use visual images to stimulate ourselves. Having sex in the dark employs only 80% of our sensory apparatus. Maybe that’s why my earliest experiences were so unsatisfying.
We similarly stimulate ourselves with food. After watching a gorgeous, natural light-kissed cookbook video eight times in one day, I realized my behavior was veering dangerously close to a food porn addiction. You cookbook readers out there hanging your heads in shame know exactly what I’m talking about. Yet we also cheat ourselves with food. We eat while watching TV, which is somewhat worse than eating in the dark (which I’ve done and write about in my book) because it occupies the brain as well as the eyes. True food appreciation requires undistracted use of the brain in addition to all five of the senses.
Tuesday resolution: Lights on for sex, TV off for meals. Advice to live by.
Here in the West, where women have access to quality healthcare, free contraception, advice and condoms often in one place, it can be an issue we don’t give much thought to. But today, on International Women’s Day, we should remember the 215 million women around the world, most at risk of both unplanned pregnancy and HIV, who want contraception and HIV prevention services, but have no access to integrated services.
—From “International Women’s Day Call to Action: Integrate Family Planning and HIV Services to Save Women’s Lives,” March 8, 2012, Huffington Post.
On International Women’s Day, a reminder that though here in the U.S. we still have a long way to go in terms of improving access to birth control and reproductive health services, there’s also a lot (from HIV treatments to low-income clinics to free condoms in college health centers) to be thankful for!