Sex on TV: Top 5 Cuddletime Holiday Movies
You know it’s the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas when the music changes in the department stores, peppermint flavors absolutely everything being sold to you, and your pants are fitting just a little bit tighter. Don’t fight it—embrace it. Sure, it may not be snowing quite yet—in fact, it’s a balmy 50 degrees outside (thank you, global warming)—but I say turn on the A/C and snuggle under a blanket with someone special while you watch your favorite sexy holiday classic. Here are some of my favorites to get you started.
1. Love Actually. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re really just doing yourself a disservice. Take every working British actor (there only seems to be a dozen or so, constantly being recycled), a killer soundtrack (though Mariah Carey definitely ages, “All I Want For Christmas” never seems to get old), and interwoven love stories with a holiday backdrop and you have one of the best holiday love stories of all time.
2. The Holiday. If you enjoyed Love Actually, or if you have a soul, you’ll also enjoy The Holiday. Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet switch homes for Christmas, sending LA-based Diaz to Winslet’s quaint English countryside cottage and Winslet to rough it out in Diaz’s impressive Hollywood Hill’s mansion. Both find love, Diaz with Jude Law (a single dad wielding two adorably accented children) and Winslet with Jack Black (just go with it) by New Year’s Eve. And then there’s this cute old man—never mind, just see it.
3. Elf. A belly laugh or two can be pretty sexy, in my opinion. Plus, as big Zooey Deschanel fans, we can’t help but swoon as Buddy the Elf not only rekindles the relationship with his real father, but also finds love with Deschanel.
4. White Christmas. This list wouldn’t be complete without a real classic. A really good classic (from long, long ago, in 1954!). The singing, the dancing, the snow, Technicolor!
5. Die Hard. Just go with me on this one. It may not be as traditionally holiday-y as the movies above, but it takes place at Christmas, and there’s that McClane-Holly love story happening and everything. Whatever, if you just made your significant other watch all of the other films, it’s probably best to mix it up a bit. What’s Christmas without an over-the-top fictional hostage situation?
So get cozy, borrow your friend’s Netflix account, and watch some sexy holiday classics with someone you like to cuddle with. And no need to worry about funky breath—the overdosing of peppermint has you covered! And if you think all the cuddling could lead to more than cuddling, make sure you’ve got everything else covered too. Then share the sexy holiday details (anonymously, of course) on Bootylog.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
Sex on TV: 4 Sex Scandal Songs Inspired by Justin Bieber
Remember that time when a random girl accused Justin Bieber of fathering her child after she took his virginity backstage at one of his concerts? I know, after what seemed like months, the story finally dropped off the news cycle and I forgot about it for a few minutes, too. But then Bieber went on ex-Housewife of New York Bethenny Frankel’s new daytime talk show and dug it up again. Why now? Because the pop superstar just released a new album and one of his new songs, “Maria” (his accuser’s name was Mariah) responds to the scandal through scathing, falsetto-sung lyrics. What begins with actual audio clips of news reports and interviews with the star during the height of the drama turns into a repetitive diddy that’s going to have pre-teen girls across the world singing along to the lyrics, “That ain’t my baby, that ain’t my girl,” incessantly. At least we’ll get a breather from Call Me Maybe.
In keeping with my feelings—and what I assume was the majority of America’s feelings—at the time the story initially broke, I still couldn’t care less. But then I started thinking about a world where all celebrities embroiled in a sex scandal preached their innocence through the medium of song. Whether or not they were actually guilty won’t matter when their track hits number one on iTunes and in the hearts of teens everywhere. Allow me to lead the charge with four sex scandals songs I think could make excellent chart-toppers:
1) Anthony Weiner: Instead of coming up with anything fresh and new (I mean he did put so little effort into his scandal in the first place; he couldn’t even be bothered to leave his congressional office before he snapped the shots of his namesake), Weiner would just release The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake song “Dick in a Box”—but instead, change the lyrics to “Dick in Your Inbox.”
2) Paris Hilton: Everyone knows Paris Hilton is Bruce Springsteen’s biggest fan. I’d look forward to the music video that would accompany her song “****ing In The Dark”, complete with humans and Chihuahuas donning night vision goggles and a 2-minute interlude of silence while Paris checks herself out in the mirror. That’s hot.
3) Arnold Schwarzenegger: The man fathered a child with his housekeeper. Coupled with his body building background, there is no possible way he wouldn’t borrow a tune from Jock Jams. I’m thinking Technotronic “Pump Up The Jam.“ Something like, “She don’t need, a place to stay, she’ll be mopping up the floor tonight,” and then subbing out the lyrics “Make my day” with “I’ll be back.” Too soon?
4) Hugh Grant: Back in 1995 Hugh Grant was arrested for soliciting sex from Divine Brown after they were caught as she was performing oral sex on him in his car. I’d imagine he would go back and forth, trying to choose the right lyrics to spin the dalliance into a PR opportunity, only to shrug his British shoulders in defeat, sigh “Oh, bollocks,” and wind up recording a cover of Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For the Money.”
Have any better songs for these scandals? Other scandals that should inspire songs of their own? Comments, please!
“Justin Bieber” image by Adam Sundana.
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Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.
