Sometimes my patients feel that they shouldn’t be on birth control if they’re not in a serious relationship. I fear that this is a response to the stigma that continues to surround birth control even though 99 percent of women have used it at some point in their lives. It breaks my heart to think my patients have internalized negative messages regarding sexuality and self-worth and as a result are embarrassed or ashamed to ask for contraception unless they’re in a certain kind of relationship. The reality is that sometimes the most crucial time for effective contraception is early in a relationship!
Ultimately, what sets “Masters of Sex” apart from other sources of hot cable sex — the soft vampire porn of “True Blood” or the Renaissance Faire porn of “Game of Thrones” — is that it asks us to watch like scientists, methodically, without bias, in a spirit of open inquiry. It prods us to look at sex not as entertainment (even, of course, as it provides that) but as both basic animal behavior and a societal construct. The show is expressly about sex in a way that nothing else on TV is right now — in that it asks questions, listens to the answers and then uses them to try to dispel myths. It reminds us that, as long as you’re watching people have sex, you could be learning something too. This is true of Masters and Johnson, and it is true of us, the audience, as well.
“As Long as You’re Watching People Have Sex, You Could Be Learning Something,” The New York Times, November 1, 2013.
Did we mention that we love this show? And PS, when Masters of Sex debuted we waxed philosophical about how the researchers prevented pregnancy among their subjects and now we have our answer—word on the street is they used diaphragms (which we know, and they found out the hard way, are not 100% effective).
It’s important to know that porn does not define what’s common and enjoyed in real bedrooms. And remember that your looks, turn-ons, and sex moves are deliciously unique and fabulous just as they are. Try not to compare yourself or your sex life to what you see in porn. Quite simply: When you do what you like, you’re doin’ it right.
There’s your external sex life that is physical and very real. Then there’s your internal sex life that takes place in your mind. For some, the internal stuff is a vivid realm filled with sexual exploration and imaginative settings, scenarios, and partners. Others barely fantasize at all. Both are normal.
Day 14, #CLITERACY
Ah, the clit blues—a sad tune. On the bright side, research shows that familiarity can lead to better sex, so perhaps those lovers can learn…
MAKE GOOD PORN!
We need to teach young adults the different genres that are available (ethical porn, feminist porn, demonstrational porn, etc.) and why they are available- because npt all porn is bad, heteronormative, or male-centric…”different strokes for different folks”.
…Kinsey found that women were masturbating, having sex before marriage, and engaging in same-sex behavior, among other things. Men aren’t the only ones with sexual needs and desires? Who knew?
Because Kinsey was willing to stand against the prevailing social norms and moral values of his time, female sexuality (and the study of sex in general) ultimately became a worthy area of scientific inquiry.
From Celebrating 60 Years Of Kinsey’s “Sexual Behavior In The Human Female” by Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller.
A very happy anniversary to the book, and a big thank you to Alfred Kinsey for paving the way toward a better understanding of female sexuality. BTW, if you want to learn more about Dr. Kinsey’s research, The Kinsey Institute’s website has you covered.
Doesn’t matter if you have a partner or not, your body is a beautiful thing and you are an orgasm waiting to happen. And your mind has just as much to do with you sexuality as your body, so think about what makes you feel good… Explore your body and your thoughts. Getting to know what makes you feel sexy IS sexy. You can’t lose.